What is happening...i don't know....
All i knew is that someone i love lie to me...
She breaks my heart..deeply...i feel very disappointed..
How many time of chances you want me to offer you??
You told me you did this because you have no way to choose..
you are alone and need someone..i tell you we are all stand by you...
you said is different..i doubt..
so i promise to you that i would let you to prove the one you choose is the right man..
and i keep my mouth shut...

One year pass..
I see you again..but this time you look different...
you look so much tired...something that i really don't hope to see..
i remember i asked you when i first saw you...
How are you? Did you live happily throughout this year?
you pretend to be happy and satisfied with the life..i know you are lying..
because i know you for so long...long long time as if when i newly brought to this world..
and so do i..i pretend to believe in you..but my tears drop when i go to bed that night...

I know what i can do is accompany you whenever you are lonely..
Eventhough i said i cannot accept him..and you know i dont like him too...
so we were happy when we are enjoying our family outing without him...
for this few months...at least we are happy...

Until one day..my dream come true...
you quarrel with him...i was so so so happy...
finally you are leaving him..i pray with my sincere heart..
at that very fine morning..you said you want to move out from the house immediately..
because you both no longer can live together..
i drive from far far land back to your house..
we move everything..
Everything that previously in my house..
We sweat sweat sweat but we were happy happy happy..
Happy simply because you are back...

Yes, im always the luckiest person...in my heart..
but not this time...
I was so naive..and so innocent...
thinking that you will be with us...
You told me, you will not return to him...you promise this to me..
you promise this..i remember the last word you said to me...
I believe in you because i love you...

But why??????
Is just one day????why cant you leave him alone?
Why did you want to return to him?? He dont love you any more...
He is devil..a true devil...took you away from where you are..
Somewhere that you are being pampered so much...
they tell me...you are lying...
i said no...you wont do this to me..you wont lie...

That night...i decided to take a drive just to see whether they are lying...
or you are the one who lie to me...

I cant believe what i see...
How could this happen?
why are you here?? Why are you in his house??
I just cant control my anger...
I want to go into the house and ask you what is going on...

But......
I did not...because i dont want you to know that i knew you lie to me...
I pretend i dont know anything....
and i tell myself...you are not the one i used to love..you are nobody...
i would not like to know anything about you anymore...

God knows im soft hearted...
so,im like what i am as usual....
You went back to him...and both of you quarrel...
and you come back and tell us..this time you are serious...
No way to return to him...
Of course...i believe in you again...for the sake of being stupid again...
This happen for how many time? countless...cause i dont ever try to count....

Today, you told me you look for him again...
you did not lie this time...but you have break your promise..
not to return to that home...
I have no said...I m tired to hear about this...
you know exactly he is not the rightman...
Why are you so stubborn?

You are not the one i love previously...
Please do whatever you think it will make you happy...
I pray to God, please let you to have a good health and stay happy..
At least this is what i can do...

Being busy for my parents home renovation for the last two months..finally it almost come to the end..what is left is just the floor finishes, wall finishes and interior...and hopefully by end of this year we can move in...and now i got my job and have started to work..what is worrying me is the part I exam end of this year..i have to work to learn to know and to survive in this architorture route..

and now i just want to work, eat and sleep cause i know Cookie will never come back again...its been almost 3 weeks..we have no news on her...what we hope is just that to the one who has pick her please take care of her...we wish this little Cookie all the best...eventhou you cant move in to the new house with us...luckily we still have Curly with us..and sooner we will look for another Cookie again...

Have you ever think or plan what kind of architecture route you are going to take? I never thought of this until yesterday I received an e mail from the company that i applied for a job as design architect.( i cant let you guys know which company is that because i have not pass the interview yet...)
This is strange...it is so common if the company ask for port folio but they requested me to write about my long term plan..this question bugging me for the whole night..thinking what kind of architecture route that im planning to take..i have too many things that i want to do but i have never plan it properly on a paper...this has totally given me a chance to think think and think...and also because of this question, i feel more interested to know more about this company..
So, what is my planning??

first look for job..this is definately..im broke! from the day i decided to continue my bachelor in UTAS, i know my passion towards architecture is still there..burning!I like design, deeply in love..i want the user feel it, just like the church by Tadao Ando and the Jewish museum..the building is expressing! Feel it...you know what i mean??

of course my dream to be an architect! I will never give up...i have promised myself, no matter how long it takes, i will become an architect..this is why i sit for the part I exam..wish me good luck..yes, no matter how long, even one day if i have become some one mother..crossed my heart!

My architecture trip started from Hong Kong to Tibet, to Australia..These trips are wonderful..i learn t, experience and appreciate all of them..and i love it..i know one day later i will have chance to go further...as long as i have money to go....save money is hard....

Wish me all the best, friends!

I seldom drive to this place..yesterday i drive past..this place near pasar borong, Seri Kembangan..n i saw this scene, i know i have to take this photo down, but i regret why i did not take a shot on this little hill last time when i drive through...few years later, this little green hill will turn into a hypermarket...and maybe more development...

i feel really sad on this development..is this the only thing that we can do to make a place developed? I remember my lecturer told me once, he said, Susanne, try to work together with the nature, not against them...orelse, they will take it back from you in the future...I know what he says is right..look into our Malaysian way of constructing..we clear the land, build whatever we want and finally replant some trees to the site...and usually the replant number is far more lesser...and all these cause numerous of environment issue..

What is important between the nature and development? is there any fair weighing between them?seeking for the answer...

This is my first trip to Kota Bahru. It is not a big city like Kuala Lumpur, it is a small town with friendly people around. This is the place where we can find clear sky...